In fact, I do not adhere to the belief that the lost ones should be remembered once a year. As you might have noticed, I have mostly mentioned my brother’s name in my articles. But every year on this very day, I miss his closeness, his advice. Therefore, let me calm my heart and drop some words.
What is dead, broken, or achieving the ideal?
Sorry, I’d like to take help often from the Master of the psyche, Dr Jung:
It must be true. As we begin the second half of our life, and we carry the experiences from the last into the new, we can take a little time and think of the end or a new beginning.
As I remember, since I was eighteen and after our mother died, I thought that I couldn’t be sadder than that. My eyes were dried by shedding so many tears. But I was wrong!
Yes! I want to write another tribute to my beloved brother, Al. It is my fourteenth tribute, though I have such a feeling as it is still the first one.
It was 2006 when the killer tumour appeared in his genius brain, (he had got an epileptic attack), and then we’d been driven to the hospital with the ambulance. They wanted to keep him for a night to make an EEG test, and I walked all the way back home. It was Mars the fifth, and was heavily snowing. That’s why when I arrived home, I just looked like a snowman, and I haven’t even noticed it.
It had been a back and forth till he got surgery (I don’t want to get into the details.) After he came back home, he was very fit and happy and told me that he wanted to win cancer, as Lance Armstrong did, who had got cancer but won over it with doing sport with biking and winning many tournaments, amongst Tour de France, though with a little help from doping! Al’s dopping was only smoking!
He was the coolest one after brain surgery. 💖
Anyway, Al had put an aim with an exercise bike, which we’d bought, and he began to practice.
Every day, when I came home from work, (How I’d wish that I had the chance to have the possibility to leave the job and had more time with him, my beloved one.) I saw him biking and listening to the Beatles. We loved them since our childhood and had all the LPs from them. Once, he told me that he had discovered something as he listened to the Beatles: they had made so many songs that none is similar to the other, how fascinating! He said, and he was right.
We didn’t like Iranian music, except some rare traditional ones. From an early age, with the help of our older brother Soroosh, we got to know western culture and music and fell in love with it. Yes, we were Aliens in Iran and remained Aliens in Germany! It lasted only one year, and this very year was a good year. He was happy, therefore I was, and he was trying to back to his work: writing. But the killer tumour came back to finished its job. That’s another sad story, might be told later.
At Al’s funeral, I have chosen some songs (an unusual dead ceremony!) which Al loved most. Like Leonard Cohen once sang: We are ugly, but we have the music.
…And clenching your fist for the ones like us
Who are oppressed by the figures of beauty
You fixed yourself, you said: Well, never mind
We are ugly but we have the music…
And, I’ve had added a song from our most loving duet: Simon & Garfunkel. This describes his worldview (Weltanschauung), which shows with no doubt, A Most Peculiar Man .
Have you ever thought of sway into another world? Anyway, I thought that it is a wonderful idea to dance so far until to change the level! As Al always did believe in: Be happy and thanks for the music which has been given to us. Love and Light, as an adorable forever friend always said. 🙏🙏💖🤗