It’s late 1960’s and at No. 22 Clareville Grove, South Kensington, West London a frustrated David Bowie, in the company of his then young lover, budding actress Hermione Farthingale, is at his wits end struggling to complete the lyric for his new song, ‘Life on Mars’.

“What’s the problem Daveypoops? You’ve a face like Andy Warhol chewing a can of baked beans without his dentures in.”

“Oh, my little Hermit it’s all gone horribly wrong.”

“What has?”

“Well Hermlicalls, as you are well aware I’ve been engrossed attempting to knock out a swift one I’m dedicating to you yet I’m missing the crucial finishing touch.”

“Pardon?”

“A song, sweet Hermanology, a song. What did you think? Matters not. I have a song title, ‘Life on Mars’, I even have the music and all the other verses, it’s just this irksome conclusion to the first verse that’s holding me back.”

“Gosh…