In Solitude with a Chaotic Mind!

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It makes no sense! Sorry to start with these words, but I am truly on the verge of exhaustion. I am trying to keep my mind clear to write stories on my site as usual, though I have not succeeded as I hoped.
Actually, it is not only the massacre of my compatriots in my birthland causing chaos in my mind, but also my thoughts and opinions on these events, which differ greatly from those of others, who, like me, have been living in exile for many years.
However, there’s a difference: other Iranians in exile have carried their country and traditions with them, but I left them behind and fled from what Khomeini called the “thirty-six million counterintelligence organisation!!” I abandoned my limited thoughts from my past to find a new life, or more precisely, to develop a new, broader way of thinking.

In the early stages of the 1979 revolution, when Tehran’s major newspapers called Khomeini the Leader (Imam) and many intellectuals and advocates of freedom supported this, Al and I differentiated ourselves by stopping our support.
We debated the wrongfulness of this action, while others argued, “Let the Shah be dethroned, then Khomeini will be out of the way!”
It reminded me of Dr Sigmund Freud, who, in the mid-1930s, said one must stop this ill-minded (Adolf Hitler), but nobody listened!

Al and I have always kept a distance from society, so I am accustomed to solitude. However, I find it puzzling that since the Women-Live-Freedom Revolution began, more Iranians have been including me in their online groups. While I feel honoured, I often disagree with their actions but cannot openly communicate my views due to my speech impediment.

Swimming against the stream remains challenging, even though it has become my routine. I am grateful for Dr Jung’s valuable support in helping me manage that burden and how to carry that weight.

Dr Jung famously said, “In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” He believed that the unconscious, which often seems chaotic to the conscious mind, actually has a deeper structure. Instead of viewing chaos only as destruction, Jung saw it as essential for creativity and growth. When old mental frameworks break down, it allows new, more integrated ones to form. Overthinking and mental chaos can sometimes mirror the shadow—those unconscious, repressed parts of ourselves. To explore this chaos, we must confront these disowned aspects, not just try to control thoughts. Jung’s goal wasn’t to push the mind into perfect order but to integrate its chaotic parts to achieve wholeness.

Anyway, I think I can share my thoughts more openly here because I believe you understand better!

I’m including my short essay, which I’ve shared multiple times in those groups, but it seems like either friends don’t grasp the points or simply don’t want to.

This relates to the primary question that preoccupied me: not just a warning about the awakening seen in all these events, but also an understanding of who the real enemy truly is.

Knowing the real enemy!

Throughout all these years of the Iranian uprising, I have wondered if it is clear to the opposition who or what the real enemy is: the Revolutionary Guards, the entire Islamic regime, or Khamenei himself. I am not sure if these are the real enemies – especially the last one, as we, the old-timers who were in Iran during the revolution, should have known Khamenei well. He came as a Hojjatoleslam, remained a Hojjatoleslam, and then became the leader through Rafsanjani.
Anyway, many questions remain unanswered for me, and I continue to think about them until they become clear.
In fact, the change or so-called political opening under the Shah’s regime began in the mid-seventies. I remember that this space started with television, from children’s programs to theatre performances, with the slogan: “We will wake you up!” Television also began showing full-length films that had previously been censored or banned. The street demonstrations were for freedom and a free press and were not religious in nature. However, following the Cinema Rex fire and Khomeini’s trip from Iraq to France, these events were framed in religious terms.
I believe that at that time, Western influence took over the revolution to protect it from leftist ideologies and Soviet interference. Even reputable newspapers such as Kayhan and Ettelaat referred to Khomeini as the Imam, and, unfortunately, the intellectual community supported this move, hoping to spread the revolution. Ultimately, it led them to lose focus on the revolution’s main principles.
Of course, we are aware of the process of how the revolution progressed and won. But here a question arises: how is it possible for the West to lead the revolution as a religious action under the rule of the mullahs, but not to consider its own subsequent interests? America and Britain spent money and overthrew the government of Dr Mossadegh in a coup. Still, suddenly, in the 57 revolution, they abandoned everything and left the future of Iran to fate with a mullah government? Did they think that simply preventing the revolution from falling into the hands of the leftists, regardless of what would happen next, was enough?
I can never imagine such a thing! I believe that this was a long-term plan to take control of Iran, to create a regime under its command, without any ideology, and simply to destroy the country and kill the future geniuses and thinkers, as we have been witnessing for years. Yes! I believe that this regime has no ideology; as we remember from the very beginning, they purged the intruders by assassinating or bombing and killing the ideologues and their leaders.
And this monkey game of endangering Iran’s nuclear program is simply a tactic to spread fear and panic, with the aim of greater success and greater influence.
I conclude that our primary enemy is the same as it has always been, and the only way to fight this dangerous and eternal enemy is to remain awake and aware.

Thanks, everyone, for reading and hopefully understanding my perspective.🙏💖

20 thoughts on “In Solitude with a Chaotic Mind!”

  1. Certainly one common enemy are those in power who purposely sow chaos. Recently, I have been attempting to track / trace Western influence in Iranian government over time between 1954 – Present Day… It’s like the game: ‘follow the ball underneath the moving cups!’?🏓🍵🙃… But my reading and comprehension is impoverished. I do not understand the culture and history. Alas, I am no help! I am learning from you.

    All I can say is that I do know foreign intelligence agencies, like the CIA as the best example, has a very extensive and well documented history of sowing chaos in dozens of countries all over the world. Installing democracies, then helping to overthrow them when nationalism takes hold, when the people of the country become emboldened— then the CIA will flip-flop and install a ruthless and/or religious dictator. The form of government seems not to matter, only whichever is less threatening to The West at the present moment.

    I followed your words. Despite you inner chaos which I sympathize with, a focused post. I am so glad you shared🙏🖖

    Liked by 2 people

    • Firstly, my dear friend, since I am unaware of your expertise in creating such masterworks, we are on equal footing! Your approach is common and instructive, rooted in the story of Western exploitation that began in 1953-54. It draws lessons from English colonisation to exploit the Third World, especially countries with large oil reserves.

      Interestingly, after many failures in South America during the 70s, they changed tactics; instead of direct confrontation, they used force against opposition and supported regimes with slogans like “down with America,” such as the Mullah’s regime, to maintain control covertly.

      I’m glad to share my chaotic thoughts and appreciate your encouraging support and friendship, buddy. We need to stay vigilant! 🙏🫵✊🖖

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh Aladin, I don’t even know how to comment on this as I feel that we are at the beginning of what you experienced all those many years ago, the dissolution of a way of life and the substitution of something much, much darker. I hope humanity has the wherewithal to move beyond the fear mongering and evolve as intended. Hang in there! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Who’s the enemy?

    A lot to ponder, Aladin.

    From your essay, it appears the West was the main culprit. Or was it the enemy within, the intellectuals, supporting the west? They did nothing to stop it.

    The situation/evolution/revolution appears more complicated than I was ever shown on the media. Cripes, excluding events since Obama’s gov’t struck a deal, the number one “News” story I knew of Iran was back in those days 1979-80 when Canadian diplomats somehow got 6 American diplomats out of the country.

    Since, yes, it’s always not good. Heartbreaking. Now it seems, yes, totally chaotic, to put it mildly.

    I can see that with all the places to lay blame, they go around and around, you are not only swimming upstream, you are upstream in an whirlpool..

    🙏💖✨💖✨

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry, actually, I meant the other way around! I may not have explained my point clearly; the situation is more complicated. I was discussing how Western influence played a role in the 1979 Iranian revolution, leading to the replacement of one dictator with another. The Shah left, and Khomeini took power! The intellectuals were unaware of this hidden agenda; they only aimed to remove the Shah, which I consider a grave mistake. Although it might sound like a conspiracy, I believe it because, from the beginning, the Khomeini regime dismantled all democratic principles that people long desired, and the West never intended that!

      Obama has also embraced the typical American capitalist strategy of striking deals with the Mullah regime to benefit lobbyists.
      The occupation of the American embassy in 79-80 was another manoeuvre aimed at weakening President Carter to increase the chances of Mr. Reagan’s victory in the presidential race.
      As you can see, this situation is quite complex! Nonetheless, I appreciate your reading and honest feedback.

      🙏🙏💖🤗🙏💞

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow!
        Thank you for taking the time to clarify, Aladin.

        Yes, very complicated. Seems politics always are.

        I did realize that some faction in Iran wanted the Shah removed, but didn’t really understand. I did see that it was not replaced by democracy.

        Whatever I understand, or don’t, I do see that Iran is in turmoil, and I feel for them. When they began cracking down on the hijab reality, my stomach roiled.

        I thank you for writing these in depth posts, and allowing me the opportunity to respond (right or wrong), your corrections to my understanding and all intellectuality that happens here.

        I am sure you want good things for you homeland, and must be in an inner chaos at some place within yourself, about it all.

        💙❦🕊❦💙

        Liked by 1 person

      • My dear Resa, you are wholeheartedly and warmly welcomed into my deepest heart, as I am learning so much from you. I genuinely share my thoughts just as you do with me, and that is the real essence of friendship.
        Honestly, I consider myself a worldly person (or maybe an alien?!), who doesn’t want to belong to any place, but I am witness to a massacre against innocent young people seeking freedom and peace. Naturally, my roots cause me even more pain.
        Nevertheless, sharing it here with dear friends like you calms my heart and gives me patience to endure.
        Sending my heartfelt gratitude and warmest hugs. Aladin
        🙏🙏💖🥰💕😘🙏

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Dear Aladin, I too sympathize with the chaos and turmoil you are suffering. I feel the same about what’s happening here in the U.S. I am not schooled in the historical upheavals of governments and regimes or who is directly or indirectly responsible. The only answer to your riddle that I can definitively point to is this: the enemy is us: the human animal. Each of us has a shadow with the potential for love as well as hate. Our unwillingness to face our own fear, hatred, and greed and try to overcome these tendencies with self-examination, acceptance of our own guilt, and love . . . this is the culprit. Our ignorance and denial has always caused chaos ever since the first act of aggression against another was committed, whether by a mythical god or goddess or one of the first humans. There is no individual, group, religion, or government I can blame for the chaos that reigns in the world. We all share the blame. And I agree with your conclusion that the only way to fight this dangerous and eternal enemy is to remain awake and aware. Sending love and sympathy: to all of us. Jeanie

    Liked by 1 person

    • My dear Jeanie, your insight into the inner soul is so profound and vast that one can immerse oneself in it.

      You possess the ability to release resentment and hatred towards the situation by seeing it from a higher, impartial perspective. This reflects divine wisdom and honesty with oneself, which are crucial before approaching it.

      Thank you for this meaningful lesson, which I will keep in mind; sending my heartfelt love.

      Always yours, Aladin. 🙏💖

      Like

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