FIFTY+ YEARS LONELINESS V (P.2)

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Turn on, Tune in, Drop out! This World is not enough!

It is sometimes strange, to see a black sheep in a crowded white sheep. Or another way around, what so ever; it is so, sometimes you are the other sheep, and you must fight for your rights. I just followed my instinct. I thought I have sacrificed so much grief for the lie of my mother in the case of my father’s death, then I let my feelings explode, let them go their way, I just needed it! Then I was also promised with my abilities to arts, I began with drums as I was lucky to get a birthday present from my cousin; a small compact drum with two small snare-drums on bass-drum and a little drums basin swinging above. I hammered it so perfect that all the people around were amused. Therefore, I decided to make music.

I have got friends, in the downtown who were very active in the music scene, and I had to get there to achieve my goal but this was dangerous in my outfit walking in Tehran’s downtown. Before the revolution, Tehran was separated into two parts; uptown and downtown. Uptown belonged to not only rich people but also modern livings and in the latter were living not only poor but also a very traditional and religious people, it is clear that there was a big difference therebetween. We (the Fazel family) didn’t belong to any part; as I believe the artists have their own class in the society, not up, not down, somewhere else! And my appearance, in this figure; somehow European but being a fellow-citizen, was an offence in the religious life of the peoples in the downtown, and every time when I got in there, to play the drums at my friend’s stay, I had to ignore a lot of mocking reactions. Even sometimes I had to defend myself. I don’t want to write on this part here, I was convinced to be what I am, therefore I am.

Here I am about eighteen, Of course, I’ll want to sure you, I am not so bad as I’m looking like. But it is the highest point of my rebellion. Just born to be wild!

As you might read in my face (if you could recognize something 😉) I felt and found myself as an Alien those days. I had just a few friends who thought and lived the way like me. Then, I have discerned the solitude, and slowly but surely found my way.

Sex, Drugs and Rock & roll I said, and yes! I was ready to try all kind of these things. Let’s be misbehaved!

As I remember well, once I wanted to meet a friend; Mahmud, from downtown, also with long hair, my mother didn’t agree, but I have insisted to go. I was about eighteen years old and I felt free to decide (though it was not so common!). Al had noticed and wanted to stop me. I must confess that we had some different opinions about the way of life in that period of our age. He was mostly rather indoor, he knew what he wanted; became a writer. I didn’t know what I really wanted to be, just wanna breaking through!. Of course, he was not against my decision in this very evening to get out and meet my friends but because of our mother’s disagreement, and his love towards her was stronger than letting me go. We have argued a little and a little more than we have struggled! Of course not so as it might sound, he had tried to hold me back and I wanted to go. Anyway, I won or he gave it up, I went to meet my friend and it was really an amazing adventure for me, to meet some musicians and have a lot of fun. Let me tell you an example that you can better understand my excitement; we went to a music studio in which some guys were playing, suddenly one of them on guitar said; hey mates, have you heard this new song? then had begun to play Popcorn! Do you know or remember this? dido dido dudido, dido dido dudido… and me as a layman: 😳😮😍

After that I have found out that Al was not so decent as I have thought, he had a secret relationship with the sister of Mahmud and didn’t tell me a word!

I want to cut it here and let it be continued again because I hate to be too long and boring, I know you read my story just because of me, 🙏 therefore, I will write a Third episode, there I will try tell about the differences of drugs and their working (on Al and me at least). Thank you heartily 💖🙏💖

11 thoughts on “FIFTY+ YEARS LONELINESS V (P.2)

  1. Oh, what a joy Aladin to read more of your life’s journey, especially tales from these wild, rebellious years. I applaud the way you say that artists belong somewhere else, not uptown or downtown in any town or city, this is such a universal truth! And I must point out that, you look like a pop star there with your long dark, shaggy hair! Just born to be wild!

    Like many creative souls, this poet identifies with being the odd one out, the black sheep in a field full of white ones. I’m glad you followed your instinct, enjoyed the experimenting and amazing adventures that comes with rebellion! Lastly, how lucky it was that you got a drum set. Sounds like one of your best teenage presents! Love and light, Deborah.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, my dear soul, you caressed my inner soul again with your kind words so softly. I am so happy and much inspired to keep going. It means me a lot that I am one of your friends whom you have a one eye open to care for. You are my Love and Light.
      PS; sorry about your ankles fracture. please take care 💖🤗😘😘

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh no Aladin, I broke my ankle three years ago and was joking about it in my reply to you … because that’s what happened fhe last time I fell down a rabbit hole! 🐇 OK, back down to my cosy winter nest. Thank you for your lovely wishes 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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