Venue, Hell – Post the Beginning of Time: A most disgruntled Satan is rummaging about Hell looking for his bicycle clips. Ever since the idea struck him last evening he’d been looking forward to going ‘off road’ on his new mountain bike, a present from Enepsigos (the fallen angel who appears in the shape of woman). Satan being a tad on the bisexual side has always had a soft spot for Enepsigos – needs must when the devil drives and all that!  Anyway, what happened was that Satan had, upon positively tearing off the Halford’s wrappings that had encased his new pushbike, duly assigned the task of purchasing the bicycle clips to Purah (the fallen angel of forgetfulness). In short Purah, whilst pretty sure he purchased said ‘clips’, cannot for the hell of him remember where he put the bloody things!

Satan: “Well this is brilliant. All I ask…