“I say Carruthers, I’ve heard tell Jacob is racist. What pray do you make of that my friend?”

“Who the bleddy hell is Jay Cobb when he’s at home?”

“I think you got the wrong end of the stick old chum, it’s Jacob Rees-Mogg who’s racist.”

“Good Lord, so Rees-Mogg is aka Ray Cyst. Doesn’t surprise me, mind. I always knew he had a thing for a gal named Kath Licks, but to go undercover and adopt a dual identity using the name Ray Cyst, thus making it easier to covertly get his leg across as and when, I find astonishing. I pity his poor wife. He needs a sound horse-whipping in my book.”

“Je ne comprends pas?”

“Kath Licks! Some Irish bint he bonks when the fancy takes. No one’s ever met the girl though, notwithstanding we all know what the two-timing devil is up to. Kath Licks this…