This journey, which can begin at any age or phase of our life (it is never too late) begins with observation. I essentially make myself an observer of myself. I recognize what I like and what is not, what are my behaviours and reactions in different situations, what are they wanting?

 

But what is the purpose of this trip, in general?

Many argue that the quality of my relationships with those around me mirrors the quality of the relationship I have with myself. Therefore, one of the purposes and benefits of this journey, beyond the basic – of improving my relationship with myself – is to improve my relationships with the people around me. At the same time, of course, the improved relationship with myself leads to better health, quality life, success with substance and inner satisfaction.

” I’m not the one I want to be. I’m not the one I should be. I’m not the one my mom and the others around me would like to be. I’m not even the one I was. I am who I am, “ writes the writer and psychotherapist Jorge Bukai and is something that would be good to remind everyone every day of ourselves. All of our ribbons, on the other hand, start from the moment we try to be something we are not.

However, to get what I want, to satisfy my “will,” my dreams, my desires and my needs, I must first secure a condition. This is to know that I deserve all of the above. So I recognize my self-worth.

How can I understand my self-esteem?

We ourselves define how high we will put our value, by realizing that we are unique, so invaluable. By accepting ourselves, we mobilize others to accept us. We take what we give, so by giving love to ourselves, we also get love from around us.

One of the first steps in self-acceptance is to stop criticism and start evaluating (for example at the end of the day, we take stock, wonder if what we have done today is beneficial for us and others and if not we decide if we want to repeat them).

We usually focus on our most negative behaviours in order to judge ourselves, we consider that these behaviours are we and inevitably we are going to self-criticism paths. But our behaviours do not reflect 100% what we are, our real self. Our behaviour is something that we can choose and of course change.

We come to life by rejecting with abomination the characteristics of others or even ours, which we regard as elusive, threatening or useless. But if we were to think a bit, we would understand how difficult it would be to live without what we often despise (Jorge Bukai).

So, by reducing the criticism we exercise in ourselves, we also reduce the criticism we receive from around us. We accept that in every moment, in every situation, we do the best we can, having the right to make mistakes.

Another thing that we should be careful about is when we base our value on external factors. This is a “fake” acceptance of ourselves and extremely dangerous for us. Imagine how easy it is to overturn our idea of ​​ourselves and our perception of its value when it is based on external factors.

For example, I am successful, I have a job with very high earnings, a luxury home, etc. and as long as I get other material goods, so does my self-worth. And if all this is lost? And we can all imagine, especially at this time, what’s going on in the long-term, how things change from one moment to the next.

So when I base my value on external factors exclusively, I am in danger of losing it. That is why we realize our value by looking inward, towards ourselves. When we realize who we are, beyond titles and labels as we said above, we realize our value, and that’s not going to happen to us.

Self-confidence – Self-esteem – Self-esteem – Self-esteem

Self-confidence is the kind of energy that comes from within us and “makes things happen”. Self-confidence offers self-esteem. Self-esteem is something that grows. To have self-esteem you must feel that you deserve it. When you become yourself, as it really is, then you have taken a great step to feel great. It is an experience in which you experience self-worth as we have said above.

Self-esteem is nothing more than what you are. It’s not something you develop, such as self-esteem or something you gain, such as self-esteem. Self-worth somehow has already been given to you. It’s exactly what you are. All you have to do is to recognize it to yourself.

Consider the following example: Imagine that you have a diamond ring and that you wear it all the time, believing the diamond is not true. One day you go to a jeweller to make the diamond ring in the ring and the jeweller tells you it’s a perfect diamond.

And you who believed that you were wearing a fake diamond eventually discovered that it was an invaluable gem. You had it in your hand all the time, but you did not recognize its value. Well, you are also diamonds. You are an excellent and precious as the diamond. The only problem is that you do not recognize it.

As I said above, a way to satisfy my wants, my dreams, my desires and my needs is first to recognize that I deserve it. On the contrary, a way to recognize our self-worth is to do what we really want to do in our lives. Our self-esteem and our self-worth, we acquire and complete our dreams.

When we begin to realize our dreams, self-esteem will no longer be a problem. We will stop the effort we made to impress others and start to be impressed by ourselves. This is love for ourselves. And when you love yourself, something great happens. You feel safe. Then you will find everything in you that you seek to find somewhere else. That’s you. And the more love and devotion you give to yourself, the more powerful your relationship becomes.

From this, one understands how our interpersonal relationships are improving. Let’s say the erotic since the choice of partner is no longer to fill our own shortcomings and gaps. Many times we look for others to look at us to see ourselves. We all need the affirmation of others, but if the price is to abandon ourselves, not just that is too big, but, moreover, this pursuit ends in something without substance, incoherent, with loose foundations.

Self-awareness is a long-standing process that requires patience and persistence. This is a very painful process, however necessary for our liberation. It is the means to liberate us from the bonds of the past and the key that opens us the road to happiness. Through our self-awareness, we are able to get to know and love ourselves and others, to get respect for both ourselves and the people around us. Is it time to pull out our armour and remove the iron mask? Is it time for us to know who we really are and who are those around us? Perhaps this is how we find ourselves a step closer to our personal happiness and the purpose of our lives!

Suggested Bibliography:

• Boukai Ch. (2006), Tell a Story, Athens, Opera Publications
• Psychology of Daily Life (2006), Athens, Lector Publications

Anastasios Theodora – “Health Aid ” Source: happylifeschool.com (we read it at  https://sciencearchives.wordpress.com/ )