It’s been a long time, but the kitchen is clean and dim. Beyond the screen, a chorus of tree frogs begins uncertainly in the late May humidity, and here we are. Tonight, I made Tot Surprise, which is my humorous moniker for what is apparently far more common a dish than I knew–tater tots, peppers, onions, and smoked sausage in a casserole dish covered with cheese and baked. It’s not nutritious; I get around that by steaming a bunch of broccoli to eat with it. However, it is satisfying. And now–as I stand in front of the open fridge door, looking at what remains of my casserole, and needing to feed complex emotions–I find that I am still full. I cannot bury my awkward realizations in a tidal wave of dopamine.

Self Avoidance Is An Art

I haven’t written consistently in my journal for years. However, recently, I took to…