Fifty+Years Loneliness XI

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The born protester!


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I’ve just thought that I’ve shared some of my inner feelings and complaints about the conditions these days lately (I heartfelt thanks for your supports); I might tell you that I have always been in that way! Of course, it was my brother Al who opened the door of my locked soul with his own rebellion.

He is Sagittarius, could have already on December 9th his 69th birthday, and he’s a typical Sagittarius, with all his pride, intelligence and firmness. He started his revolt from childhood when he started building his world. I was still dumb!

As I remember, we played downstairs, and our father was working (writing) upstairs, and when we became louder than usual, he came downstairs from his room and beat Al with his belt. I don’t know why he did nothing to me, only Al. Then, Al had beaten me as revenge! I was the latest child, and there was nobody else after me. Therefore, I learned to forgive.

My rebellion began after our father’s death when I found out that my mother had kept it secret from us almost a year later. I was skin and bones those days, and one could see and count my ribs. Then I began to eat! I have had many competitions with the adults and always won!
Of course, I got rounder but stopped in my puberty because the girls didn’t like it. 😉😁

But the proper outbreak happened many years later when Al and I were often alone at home, and we had some long conversations on our different views of life. Honestly, I had no idea or opinion; my problem was Al’s unusual behaviour towards the world, which confused me. Al had not many chances to cause me to understand his view of life; (I was so dumb!). Therefore, he only told me that his world is full of mad people!
One day, the turning point came when I was under the shower: ‘Eureka! Eureka! I cried out like Archimedes and jumped out of the bathroom! Of course, it was not the number Pi that I found out, but only that I didn’t know! I just have found out that I was still not understanding Al’s world, but it’s a challenge for me to think about it. That was my first step!

For sure, it is a never-ending way to get knowledge and to understand everything. But I am so thankful to take the first, and in my opinion, the hardest, step.

I have written the rest of my protesting time in my blogs: here and here. If one is interested.

Anyhow and in fact, I have deep gratitude to Al, who never stopped believing in me and let me suffer in my ignorance until I forced my brain to work. Happy and glorious birthday, buddy.

Finally, I would like to share two enjoyable songs from a Master of “Jazz/ Blues Fusion”; John Mayall, with whom we have had a lot of joy. This LP is more remarkable because there is no drummer in this album. Have a peaceful weekend, everybody. 🤗💖🙏🙏

16 thoughts on “Fifty+Years Loneliness XI

  1. “Another year older / a new one just begun” For some reason these lyrics taken from John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas (War Is Over)” song are playing on a loop in my head. What a lovely tribute for Al this is Aladin and I see that next year would’ve been Al’s 70th birthday.

    I haven’t seen the “stripy sock” photo of you two before, so that was a treat. It’s always wonderful to read more stories about your relationship with your beloved brother and how much Al still inspires and influences you today. Hope you’re having a restful and relaxing weekend.

    Love and light, Deborah.

    Liked by 3 people

    • That’s the point! I still wonder how I live with and without him! Must we believe in ghosts or life after death? I must do that, for he seems to do protecting me and gives me little by little of his knowledge. Thank you, my lovely Guardian Angel, ever and ever.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. elainemansfield

    Oh, Aladin. It broke my heart hearing that Al passed the beatings down, but this is what big brothers do. My big brother who died about 3 years ago did the same when I was young, although my dad rarely hit him and since I was a girl, I probably got off easily. I know Al is still with you inwardly, guiding you in this wild world. You and he share a rebellious spirit. May there be Light for all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah! Then you know how it is, dear Elaine. But as we both know, it’s all passed, and I feel the support of Al all the time. Thank you so much, and I highly appreciate your kind words ❤️, may there be light for all of us. 🙏🤗

      Liked by 1 person

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