J. Boukai: Give up the remnant of the identity that others have given you


By SearchingTheMeaningOfLife

photo by EvAr

When I read these sentences, I heard my heart beating the same words. There is a truth in them if we just take a look around and think twice. And yet, we can read between the lines.

http://Between My Lines – blogger
http://yes, therapy helps!

Jorge Bucay (Jorge Bukai) is an Argentine gestalt psychotherapist, psychodramatist and writer. His books have sold more than 2 million copies around the world, and have been translated into more than seventeen languages. http://Wikipedia

Let’s read his words, with great thanks to our Greek wise friends. https://searchingthemeaningoflife.wordpress.com/

The truly wise man does not escape from society, he just tries to give up the remnant of identity that others have assigned to him […]

For thousands of years, men and women have somehow been imprisoned within our identities, our cultures, our limitations, our fears and our guilt. The prisons that close our inflexible personalities are not called “prisons”. We have christened them with more beautiful and deceptive names: they are called temples, religion, political parties, ideology, culture, civilization, fame, power and honours […]
however, do not be unjustly frightened. You never went to jail. You were born inside, and you were ordered to stay there – like me – before you became conscious (and perhaps neither of us has yet acquired it).

You were restricted (limited) to study, work, fall in love and get married in prison.
They trained you and hypnotized you (like me) so that you could not see the railings.
They pushed you (and pushed me) to believe that only there will you be protected.
They told you (and we believed them) that, in the end, it would be the best you could have hoped for.
The day you realize where you are and try to shout it out loud, they, your inmates in prison, will tell you that the others are lying, that the real prison is outside these walls. All those who tried to show you the truth will mourn and curse. And they will tell you that there is no freedom and that hell is outside.
They will show you that inside you can truly have what you want (except your freedom, of course). They will try to entice you with prizes and applause to stay, they will offer you money, sex, luxuries and “special” conditions, because (they will tell you that) you are also “special”.
And to prevent you from leaving, they will threaten you with punishments and tortures that you will suffer if you do not accept their offer.
And if you still leave, I want you to know that… they will go out looking for you. Because outside prison you are a threat.
They will run to bring you back, you or your corpse, to prove to everyone that life is impossible out there.
But do not despair, and do not be frightened…
From the moment you are free, no one will be able to imprison you if you do not want it either “

“Give up the remnant of identity that others have set for you, take the reins and live in the present intensely, with devotion and truly”

Excerpt from the book “From ignorance to wisdom”, Jorge Boukai.

source:  http://www.psychorropia.gr /

He has something to say which are worth reading and understand for sure. I must, somehow, think about Dr Jung’s Collective Unconscious. He says: I learned that “consistency” means “continuity of speech”, “heritage”. In other words, consistent means faithful to the past, faithful to what others (our own history?) have put into it.


“Small praise to inconsistency”. Jorge Boukai

By SearchingTheMeaningOfLife

Lake of Ioannina

For a long time, I defended the right to be contradictory.
I was saying that it was logical and expected that you would change your mind and that what mattered was not the contradiction itself, but the consequence.
By reading and listening to the teachers, I learned that “consistency” means “continuity of speech”, “heritage”. In other words, consistent means faithful to the past, faithful to what others have put into it.

Now I do not try to be consistent with logic, and I would love if you did the same.

What I would like is to harmonize, as much as possible, with logic and, if possible, to help others achieve it.

If we are consistent with our past, then we are necessarily tied to it, and that means that we live like someone from the past, someone who once existed and left us his traces.
Yes, but as far as I can say, it brings me no peace of mind.
If I insist on being consistent, then I insist on living a constantly repeating story, and that means that I do not allow life to offer me anything new, nor do I ever offer anything new.
The knower is someone who knows who he is, yet he shamelessly admits that he cannot predict his future actions, nor does he have the criteria to properly assess what will happen in the future and how he will react to events.

Martha Morris rescues these traditional tips:

If you stay still, you are no longer a river,
you become a swamp,
and life does not flow through you.
Flowers will always open in spring,
but if you do not open your window you will
never smell their scent.

The birds will always return after winter,
but if you do not look up at the sky,
you will not even get it.
The sun will surely rise tomorrow morning,
but if you leave your doors closed
the rays will never, ever
illuminate your room.

On the way to wisdom, we will learn that if we are trapped in some of our own thoughts, we are likely to suffer. And we may admit that life is a struggle between our desire and the reality which is imposed on us, but it is also a struggle between our own consistent identity and authentic spontaneous existence.

If we do the following mathematical operation:

What I think I am


My harmful habits + The orders I accept


The limitations I have assimilated


All my influences


The emptiness of what I denied

Or we take out the sum, without the need for verification, we will get our identity as a result.

Our memories from the age of ignorance, enclose in themselves all the pressure we have received to end up consistent, predictable and identical with those who defined the identity of our upbringing.

In recognition, society says of the consistency that it “shows character.”
A teacher who approaches wisdom does not show character, not because of the weakness of spirit, but because he does not need to prove anything. His behaviour is beyond character because he knows he does not have the luxury of always giving the same answer. And as we said, the character is only gained if we give up on change. A connoisseur discovers that it is important to be harmonious, free at all times to be as he/she is, free to find the behaviour that suits the time, free to become unpredictable without feeling guilty if he/she disappoints others.

From the book by Jorge Boukai : “From ignorance to wisdom” , opera / animus publications.

source: https://psycheandlife2.wordpress.com /

10 thoughts on “J. Boukai: Give up the remnant of the identity that others have given you

  1. elainemansfield

    I’m fortunate for now and have a more optimistic outlook. Maybe it’s all these Monarchs flying from my back porch nursery. I wasn’t brought up to be religious and we didn’t have lots of money, but I did have the benefit of white privilege in the United States during the years of good scholarships. I didn’t feel anyone tried to mold me into their pattern and I’m grateful for that. Even my first spiritual teacher felt we should learn from all traditions and create our personal individual path to soul and spirit. I’m grateful. Thanks for introducing me to Jorge Bukai. Wishing you well in every way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You have deserved to be, my dearest Elaine. In our childhood, we had the same conditions, though for Al and me, the education wasn’t so plentiful like yours. I thank you so much, for your wonderful and kind words. And I am happy that you liked this. 🙏❤

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.