Or I might dare…
You might call it; an inconceivable or an unusual concept, as I try to write something which weighs heavily on my heart.
I am, as I have found out newly, for about eight years in this platform. I have about over 650 followers, I’d say wow, but I don’t!
Let me tell you the purpose of this post: First, it is an old post which I had written once but sent it resting in my drafts section. The reason why was that I found it a little bit raw because, when I wrote it, I felt somehow hurt and maybe too emotional. Therefore, I didn’t share it instantly.
And now, my adorable friend Deborah Gregory had made a point in her comment on one of my posts: “A word of nostalgia” She had interpreted my dream in a very fascinating way, and it made me think about myself, and what I try to definite my efforts all in my life.
I am a perfectionist, without a doubt. It is not good at all, as I once talked to a psychologist coincidentally when I had him in my taxi bring to the train station. He told me that I had to stop it. He’s right though, you know, I had a lot of versions in my life. I had to change many variations as the situations changed, and I think it was my power of surviving or keep the existence of my intellectual-being. Of course, it is a long story which I will be back on it again.
Let’s back to my dream. I don’t want to get into the details if you might take a look at that, but the main thing was about a break, and Deborah put a question, which made me thinking: if I need a break. And I could shout at her back: Yes! I need it, since I was born! But as a perfectionist, taking a break is very difficult. I noticed it as I found out about the death of my father and the secret of why! I am in a feeling, all through my life, that I miss something. Therefore, I must try it. The only thing which calms me is the last words of Leonardo Da Vinci in his dying bed: There are a lot of works unfinished! I might say them soon.
Sorry, please don’t be misunderstood. I feel like in heaven. I had never expected to be so acceptable, as an amateur, being welcome. The reason may be my modesty and humility, or my courage to share the good articles so easily and without fear in the media. With the fear, I mean defeating your own egoism and staying relaxed (apart from my ability to write, of course 😉😂). But what actually disturbs me, is the smell of business, which is crowded everywhere and even here. I know; life is hard and we must try to make the best of it, but I am someone who never belongs to this kind of folk of business, no idea what is it; making money! Oh, of course, don’t compare me with “Harold Skimpole” from Bleak House, by Charles Dickens; I’d never say that. I have no idea what the money makes, I see it only to be spent and not be to kept.
Let’s make it short: I don’t like to sell “likes” or to buy “likes”! I know it is hard or even almost impossible to read and giving feedback to so many followers. (My followers are minimum in comparison to some friends here in WP. I have seen some of the great auteurs with over thousands of followers.)
I mean, it is nice to get some good critical feedback, which will encourage everyone. But we are not fooled either! I don’t know about you but I can feel and can’t ignore it when someone follows me without have even a short view on my works, or there are also a few who waiting until I like their works, and then they like mine back… Ridiculous! No other options. Believe me! It all makes me think. I might be too sensitive, but it is a sign of being an artist; isn’t it true? 😁
Of course, the best answer to all these is; Take it easy! I am happy to be here and very honoured to have such great Authors, Thinkers, Wise, with heartfelt souls as friends, who praise me and my littleness. It is an inspiration for me with a lot of gratitude.
It is a fact without a doubt. But, I might be new in writing; (Al, my brother, was a professional writer,