ETCHINGTON’S DEMISE

Inspector Lestrade: “Good God Watson, the pair of you took your bloody time getting here. You only live around the sodding corner. What kept you so long?”

Dr Watson: “The reason for our ‘brief’ delay I’ll have you know was that Holmes insisted he finish The Times crossword puzzle whilst sat in the little boy’s room waiting for a number two to exit the departure lounge. The poor chap was smoking away on his trademark extra-long Cherrywood pipe at the time. It got that smoky in such a confined space that he couldn’t locate the loo roll, then there was the kerfuffle with the locked door. He’s not been his usual self lately. Nevertheless, here we are. What pray have you got in store for us this day, Inspector Lestrade?”

Inspector Lestrade: “If you had any common-sense and used your eyes you’d see right there in front of…