Virginia Satir – The Self-Esteem of the Child

September 9, 2018
a very important issue which in many parts of the world, would not care about!

The child comes to the world with its empty, clean plaque and the sense of value and appreciation is a byproduct of its treatment by the adults.

Adults may not realize that the way they catch a child can contribute to self-esteem.

Children learn to appreciate themselves from the voices they hear, from the expressions of the eyes of the big ones that hold them in their arms, from the muscular tone of the embrace that holds them, from the way the adults respond to their crying.

If the baby could speak, he would say, “They love me,” “no one cares about me, I feel rejection, I feel lonely,” “I am very important,” “I do not care. I am a burden for others. ” All this is a precursor to the subsequent messages, about its self-esteem.

Parents who are now starting with a baby, let us take a look at the following paragraphs, which will help them create more opportunities to develop their self-esteem.

1. Realize how you catch the baby. If you were like that, how would you feel? When you catch your child, think about what your child is learning. Is the grip hard, soft, cold, impossible, full of love, fear, anxiety? Tell your child what you feel.

2. Learn to realize the expressions of your eyes. And I admit: “I’m angry”, “I’m afraid”, “I’m happy” and so on. The important thing is to give your child immediate emotional information from you about you.

3. Very young children tend to believe that everything around them happens because of them, both good and bad incidents. An important part of learning self-esteem is the clear separation of child-related incidents from those relating to someone else. When you talk to your child, specify exactly who the names are used to.

For example, a mother who is angry with the behaviour of one of her children may say, “You children never hear me when I speak to you!” This phrase is heard and believed by all the children who happen to be in front, although its message is specifically addressed to one.

4. Support the ability and freedom of children to comment and ask for each person to be able to ascertain what is happening. In the example I mentioned above, the child who is free to ask, will ask to learn: “Do you say to me?”

I use a transfer that families find very useful. Think of a round source that has hundreds of small fountains. Imagine each of these small holes, as a symbol of our personal development. As we grow older, more and more fountains are opening. Others end and close. The water pattern is constantly changing. It can always be beautiful.

We are dynamic beings, in constant motion. Each of our sources works even in our infancy.

The psychological reserve from which the infant draws self-esteem is the essence of all the actions, reactions and interactions between the persons who care about this child.


Excerpt from Virginia Sathir ‘s book, “Freedom of Humans,” Kedros Publications.

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